The last two or three weeks of my life have been surreal. My mood has been really good. I feel optimistic and I am motivated. I’ve gotten to go to an amazing conference. I’ve been working at my part time job. Though things are still really rough for me right now, I actually feel good.
During this time, I feel like I am having greater insight about life in general and about my life in particular. I know what God wants me to do. I have chosen to engage God and follow his plan. As I walk out that plan, I see just how hard this path is. Because it is so hard, several times I’ve wondered if this was God’s plan at all.
I was recently thinking about my desire to pursue God’s will and the state of my life. I believe that God wants me to be more involved in my church and to make some changes in my life personally. I was praying, asking God to bless me in this endeavor. I remember saying something like: “I believe that this is your will, but if it is your will, I’d expect you to make it easier.” That’s when it hit me: I expect God’s will to be easy. More specifically, I was under the impression that the easiest path was surely the one that indicated God’s will.
But this is not biblical. Paul did not have it easy. He was beaten, stoned, and shipwrecked three times before he was killed. Jesus did not have it easy. He suffered and died. Mary did not have it easy. She found herself pregnant before her marriage, and no doubt her reputation suffered. Joseph certainly didn’t have it easy (either one!). One found himself with a pregnant fiancee, and the other did time in jail for a crime he didn’t commit. But they all accomplished God’s will for their lives. I think most would agree that God orchestrated the events of their lives. Yet, they walked very difficult paths; paths that included public humiliation, imprisonment, and even death.
So I am now dealing with the fact that just because something is hard, doesn’t mean that it’s not God’s will. Sometimes God’s will is hard. I’d even suggest that most of the time, God’s will is difficult. This doesn’t bring me much comfort. It has redefined the way I think of God’s will.
However, it causes me to evaluate my options differently too. I see now that the easiest choices may not be be God’s will, and that choices cannot be ruled out simply because they are difficult.
While God’s will may not always be easy, I believe that it is always best. God brought Paul, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and countless other through. He helped them. My prayer is that God will help us to pursue his will for us, even when it’s hard.